In response to the recent news coverage of Shellie Ross twittering about her son's fall into the pool and subsequent death, I want to convey a few messages to our JADES followers.
First, Shellie Ross deserves support, sympathy, compassion and love during this very difficult time for her and her family. Her personal reaction is irrelevant. Many parents during crisis reach out via telephone to their families, or church communities, or friends - that fact that Shellie's primary support community was available via Twitter - or Facebook, or MySpace, etc.. - shouldn't be of issue at all. Remember, everyone grieves differently and there should be no judgment placed on personal avenues to garner support.
The fact is that drowning remains the second leading cause of accidental child death to children in the United States. And studies have shown that most child drownings occur during a very short lapse in supervision - usually while a parent or caregiver is engaged in routing household activities. In fact, a parent or caregiver claimed to be supervising the child in almost 9 out of 10 child drowning deaths. Yet, parental surveys have shown that the high majority of parents DO believe they supervise their children enough to prevent injury. It is this belief that needs to change. If parents believed that there IS risk, and that a drowning CAN happen to their children, it would help motivate parents to take preventative actions, such as adding more layers of protection around pools and spas.
If we could only harness all the energy and attention this "Twitter" issue is receiving, and redirect that energy towards preventing the next tragedy, we actually might make some significant progress. Help us redirect the attention back to where it belongs - Drowning IS Preventable and Layers of Protection can help save lives.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Holiday Traditions
With the Holidays fast approaching, I thought it would be good to talk about some of the new holiday traditions we have created in our families after the death of a loved one.
Brandon died in August of 1999, so I had to get through Halloween, his birthday (Nov. 25), Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was difficult, being so newly bereaved, to think about how I was going to survive the rest of the year. I knew the holidays would come whether I wanted them to or not. That Christmas, we decided to have everyone bring a candle that reminded them of Brandon in some way. My sister brought a bright yellow one because Brandon loved sunflowers, my dad brought a blue one because Brandon’s eyes were so blue, and I found one that smelled like orange because he always wanted to eat my orange sherbet. We lit the candles and shared what they meant to each of us. I felt that Brandon was with us that day and I was comforted with the memories each of us shared of him.
The old holiday traditions that we shared were forever changed. Although Brandon was physically gone I still wanted to include him somehow in the celebration. Creating some new traditions to include him was important to me, and it helped me to feel at peace with celebrating the holidays.
What new traditions have been created in your families?
With the Holidays fast approaching, I thought it would be good to talk about some of the new holiday traditions we have created in our families after the death of a loved one.
Brandon died in August of 1999, so I had to get through Halloween, his birthday (Nov. 25), Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was difficult, being so newly bereaved, to think about how I was going to survive the rest of the year. I knew the holidays would come whether I wanted them to or not. That Christmas, we decided to have everyone bring a candle that reminded them of Brandon in some way. My sister brought a bright yellow one because Brandon loved sunflowers, my dad brought a blue one because Brandon’s eyes were so blue, and I found one that smelled like orange because he always wanted to eat my orange sherbet. We lit the candles and shared what they meant to each of us. I felt that Brandon was with us that day and I was comforted with the memories each of us shared of him.
The old holiday traditions that we shared were forever changed. Although Brandon was physically gone I still wanted to include him somehow in the celebration. Creating some new traditions to include him was important to me, and it helped me to feel at peace with celebrating the holidays.
What new traditions have been created in your families?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A Safe Place
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in -- I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief.
Let me come in -- and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours,
And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
1877 - 1969
I saw this poem and thought it was so appropriate for the JADES blog group. This is a place where we can be very still beside you in grief, a place where there are no judgments, and a place for encouragement and comfort.
My son Brandon died August 16, 1999. I often hear the term "lost", but I didn't lose Brandon, he died in a drowning. There are so many ways that we describe death, but the raw indescribable pain of a child's death could only be understood by another parent who has had a child die due to whatever circumstances took that child's life.
It has been 10 years since Brandon's death. The raw pain has been replaced by a capricious sort of peace. A new normal has set in and days are filled with love, laughter and the hectic schedule of being a Mother, Grandmother and Safe Kids Coordinator. There are the quiet times though when the part of my heart that is missing seems like a giant chasm. These times are less frequent even though the reality of Brandon's death will always be with me. I am fortunate and grateful to have people in my life who understand, listen and love me where ever I am in the journey. I have safe places to talk about Brandon without the fear of the "you should have moved on by now" thinking.
This is my hope for JADES. That it will be a safe place for you to come to share your child, talk to others who are on this path, and find a way to advocate and move through, not on.
So let me come in friend, and take your hand. I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand....
Kim Patrick
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in -- I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief.
Let me come in -- and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours,
And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
1877 - 1969
I saw this poem and thought it was so appropriate for the JADES blog group. This is a place where we can be very still beside you in grief, a place where there are no judgments, and a place for encouragement and comfort.
My son Brandon died August 16, 1999. I often hear the term "lost", but I didn't lose Brandon, he died in a drowning. There are so many ways that we describe death, but the raw indescribable pain of a child's death could only be understood by another parent who has had a child die due to whatever circumstances took that child's life.
It has been 10 years since Brandon's death. The raw pain has been replaced by a capricious sort of peace. A new normal has set in and days are filled with love, laughter and the hectic schedule of being a Mother, Grandmother and Safe Kids Coordinator. There are the quiet times though when the part of my heart that is missing seems like a giant chasm. These times are less frequent even though the reality of Brandon's death will always be with me. I am fortunate and grateful to have people in my life who understand, listen and love me where ever I am in the journey. I have safe places to talk about Brandon without the fear of the "you should have moved on by now" thinking.
This is my hope for JADES. That it will be a safe place for you to come to share your child, talk to others who are on this path, and find a way to advocate and move through, not on.
So let me come in friend, and take your hand. I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand....
Kim Patrick
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Introduction to JADES
Welcome to the JADES Network blog!
The Board of Directors for the National Drowning Prevention Alliance (NDPA) is pleased to bring our JADES Network idea to reality. Below you will find helpful information on what JADES is, what the blog is designed for, and how it is managed.
What is the JADES Network?
JADES is an internet-based communication network, designed specifically for people who have personally experienced the tragedy of drowning. JADES provides the method to reach out to others who have experienced similar journeys of loss, and who are on similar journeys of hope.
Why was the JADES Network established?
Several of the NDPA's Founding Board Members are parents who had lost a child to a drowning or whose child suffered impairment from a near-drowning. They all shared similar experiences immediately after their tragedy and they have since reflected how they could have benefited from being able to reach out to other parents whose children had drowned or nearly drowned. The NDPA set out to create a network of support where parents and family members can safely reach out to each other, and share their journeys and share their hope. The NDPA believes that by reaching out, parents and family members may find healing, comfort, and a sense of direction for advocacy.
Who can participate in the JADES Network?
Anyone who has had a personal connection to drowning or near-drowning is encouraged to participate in the JADES Network, such as parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, caregivers, friends, anyone. JADES participants are not required to be members of the NDPA.
Who manages the JADES Network?
The JADES Network was created by the NDPA and is governed by the NDPA Board of Directors. In addition, members of the NDPA’s Board or Advisory Council who have experienced a personal loss due to a drowning or near-drowning, also participate in the JADES Network. Online comments and discussions are reviewed by an NDPA Director for appropriate content, and may be reviewed by a mental health or medical professional to identify possible “at-risk” situations, which may require more professional help. See JADES Facilitator Profiles for more information about our facilitators.
What does the JADES Network offer?
Secured, Internet-based support through e-mail and “blog” type communication forums. Lists of resources for further help and support. Ideas for venturing out into advocacy.
How can I participate in the JADES Network?
Because our goal is to create a safe place to communicate, we ask that all participants become members of the blog for the JADES Network.
The Board of Directors for the National Drowning Prevention Alliance (NDPA) is pleased to bring our JADES Network idea to reality. Below you will find helpful information on what JADES is, what the blog is designed for, and how it is managed.
What is the JADES Network?
JADES is an internet-based communication network, designed specifically for people who have personally experienced the tragedy of drowning. JADES provides the method to reach out to others who have experienced similar journeys of loss, and who are on similar journeys of hope.
Why was the JADES Network established?
Several of the NDPA's Founding Board Members are parents who had lost a child to a drowning or whose child suffered impairment from a near-drowning. They all shared similar experiences immediately after their tragedy and they have since reflected how they could have benefited from being able to reach out to other parents whose children had drowned or nearly drowned. The NDPA set out to create a network of support where parents and family members can safely reach out to each other, and share their journeys and share their hope. The NDPA believes that by reaching out, parents and family members may find healing, comfort, and a sense of direction for advocacy.
Who can participate in the JADES Network?
Anyone who has had a personal connection to drowning or near-drowning is encouraged to participate in the JADES Network, such as parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, caregivers, friends, anyone. JADES participants are not required to be members of the NDPA.
Who manages the JADES Network?
The JADES Network was created by the NDPA and is governed by the NDPA Board of Directors. In addition, members of the NDPA’s Board or Advisory Council who have experienced a personal loss due to a drowning or near-drowning, also participate in the JADES Network. Online comments and discussions are reviewed by an NDPA Director for appropriate content, and may be reviewed by a mental health or medical professional to identify possible “at-risk” situations, which may require more professional help. See JADES Facilitator Profiles for more information about our facilitators.
What does the JADES Network offer?
Secured, Internet-based support through e-mail and “blog” type communication forums. Lists of resources for further help and support. Ideas for venturing out into advocacy.
How can I participate in the JADES Network?
Because our goal is to create a safe place to communicate, we ask that all participants become members of the blog for the JADES Network.
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