JADES Network

A New Year


For most of the world the New Year starts with the making of resolutions, or the feeling of having a fresh start. For the grieving parent, the New Year is marked by the passage of time since our child died. Often, we live through the year thinking about what we are missing with our child. What would they be doing in 2010? What would our lives look like if they were still here?

For me, I am making conscious changes in my approach to this New Year. Instead of focusing on how my heart aches with missing Brandon (this year would be year number eleven) and what he would be doing or what he would be like this year, I am resolute to think of all the wonderful people and blessings that have come my way since his death and of the wonderful possibilities for 2010. I believe that if too much time is spent remembering sadness and tragedy, you will continue to live sadness and tragedy today. If we can remember the blessings and happy times and focus on the opportunities that have been afforded us to make a difference, we will be living that in the present moment instead. I don’t usually make resolutions, but this year my resolution or as defined, my “firmness of purpose” it to continue to look for the opportunities for growth and how to make this year an opportunity to make positive changes for me and others.

Brandon may not be here physically this year, but I know he is with me and I am amazed at how he gifts me with wisdom each and every year that goes by.